Tag Archives: Funeral

Exhausting Week & Playing Catch Up

Current Mood:Tired emoticon Tired & Very Sad emoticon Very Sad

It has been exhausting.  Finally taking a breather and watching The Silver Streak.

We left by 05:15 Sunday and made much better time getting to the border then we expected, even through we hit some bad storms south of Olympia.  We didn’t expect to get there until 11-11:30…got there just after 10:00.  We got to the hotel had time to kill before we could get our room, so had a breakfast that just didn’t sit well at all.  I think it didn’t feel right since we have been up for 7hrs and it was sweet.

We were exhausted and so totally not looking forward to what we were getting ready to face.  So we tried to lay down for about 3hrs and get some sleep……didn’t quite work.  But it did help some.  We dressed with heavy heart so not wanting to face Diesel’s death.

We got inside the funeral home and they had board up with some pics of D & his family, with notes from his boys.  When we walked into the viewing room, it was hard.  We went and hugged L, the oldest son J was holding up, but when I went to hug the youngest son D, he just started to cry so hard.  Torn went to hug him and he just jumped into his arms and won’t let go.  He just lost it.  It was so hard…….

They had Diesel in his Navy Dress Blues and he had a smile on his face.  Looked like he was about to wake up and tell a joke….it was perfect with who he was.  He did looked a little crunched around his shoulders in the casket, but it worked since he was such a big man in that was a normal look at times.

It was so hard, we choked up so many times and lost it a few.  One of the times that I hugged L, we just held each other so hard as we cried.

The viewings was different from what we are use to.  Most viewings you just wander around visiting and paying your respect, here they actually had a service.  D and his wife belong to a nontraditional church that is mainly made up of Philippines, so they do it a little different.  So us nonchurch members felt kind of off balance knowing what to do, but I really did like the support that the church gave L and I really hope that it helped to comfort her some.  I really liked the funny pictures during the slid show, that they showed of D that got all of us laughing.

Like most of these types of events you ended up seeing people you haven’t seen in years…which is sad, because we love visiting with all of D’s family.  We actually made sure to get everyone’s contact info.  A lot of us are gathering our pictures of D and sharing them.

L and the boys started to lose it when the did one last viewing before they closed the casket and then when they took it out and they followed…..oh boy…everyone lost it, especially the youngest.  =(  They looked so alone that my heart just felt crushed…..

We couldn’t get the 21 gun salute.  =(  Due to passports and weapons.  But we did get the flag presentation and taps.  I keep expecting to hear the guns….  =(

They had 8 pallor bearers due to the D’s size and that didn’t seem like enough.  You can see them struggling over the uneven ground.  We later said that D was probably laughing at them.  But they got him set up and he was sent off with honor.

At L’s request she watched them lower him down with the roses and flowers that she wanted everyone to place on him, entombed him and finished burying him.  It was touching and so final. =(

We all went over to their house and shared in our memories of D. By the time we got back to the hotel we just wanted to chill out so we ordered room service and just relaxed.

We left early Wed and got through the border better quick and totally lucked out on the express way being open south bound through Seattle.  We saved at least 30min off of our time.

Once we got home, I have just been working since I had payroll and 4 days of catch up.  Today is really the 1st day that I’ve had time to do things for myself.  Watched a local parade, vacuumed the house, replaced my lost ringers and did a few errands.

Warning : Sad Post

Current Mood:Very Sad emoticon Very Sad

I know, I know….I haven’t done an actually post in awhile.  I think I have gotten too dependent on twitter.  But it is addicting when you have a thought that you want to get out quickly.  I am one of those that needs to do that, if I don’t I totally forget what I want to say….annoying.

So here is a warning, this entry is probably a downer….so if you don’t want to hear anymore, I wouldn’t go any further if I was you.

If you have been following my tweets, you will know that we lost my husband’s brother.  They served together in the Navy almost 20yrs ago and were very close.  Like my dad texted me “There is no greater loss then a brother in arms”  =(

Diesel has been fighting brain cancer for over 2yrs and had 2 young boys with his wife.  He had always wanted kids, so the fracked up thing is that he finally got them and now he isn’t able to see them grow up. =(  He was so looking forward to taking them to where he grew up in the south and meeting the rest of his family.  So they can see how different it is then living in Canada.

We have been just trying to go day by day and get ready for our trip up.  There are times where it feels like it is going to hit and we choke up but work our way through it.  We pretty much have been trying to distract ourselves.  We are so not looking forward to the next few days…..we are going to lose it.  Sometimes I can go on as if a regular day, but then it hits me and I just want to lose it….but I guess that is part of grieving. =(

There are 2 days of viewing and then the services, there are people flying from all over the world.  Diesel served 20yrs in the Navy and had make a ton of friends.  He always seemed to be the one link that kept everyone connected.

We got a call yesterday and Torn is going to be one of the pall bearers.

I know I so over packed.  But the viewing is 4hrs and then you have the rest of the day.  We had already gotten ourselves clothes for 1 viewing and the service, didn’t think of a 2nd viewing.  So luckily we have lost weight and was able to fit into some of our nice clothes that we had already.  Torn was easy to figure out, only really had 1 other outfit….me, I’m really not sure.  I have a few different things that I can do, but will just have to try a few things on and have hubby help me with that.  We’ll wear those for the 1st night.  But I’m so not use to packing clothes that you try to keep wrinkle free anymore, made it even hard to pack.  Good thing the hotel has an iron for touch up.

I so hope Drew doesn’t attack our plants again while we are gone. We think he did it out of boredom last time and we just missed it by a few hours.  Torn was not happy….dirty was everywhere the little bugger.  Still going to miss our babies.  =(  They really help on making us laugh when we feel so down.

On a lighter side, I’ve received 2 more compliments from people at the gym and from 2 of our friends that we just saw for the 1st time in a while.  The gym ones total throw me off, one even toward me that I’m an inspiration because I keep coming in regardless of how much I already lost.

Yes, I know I’ve lost weight and I do notice, but I really didn’t think it was that noticeable where strangers would notice.  Well, they are strangers in that I don’t know them.  But they aren’t in that we’ve been seeing them in the gym for the last year & half.  You get use to seeing the same 20-30 everyday when you go at the same time. =)  But Torn did tell me that it is more noticeable then I realize.

It feels good, but totally weird.  Because I still want to get rid of 8# of jiggle and tone up some more.  But that is so female, never satisfied.  =)

I got as much work as I can get done.  I have payroll to do on the 15th, but I won’t be here for it.  Everyone has been given a heads up that they will be late.  I’m so not looking forward to the email and the pay requests that will be waiting for me when we get back, but that is life and I’ll just take it one thing at a time.

Well, need to get my butt to bed.  04:30 comes early…icks

Catching Up

Current Mood:Bored emoticon Bored

I have my nightly glass of wine and just had some cheese and crackers, watching Madea’s Family Reunion…I love that character.  Two of our cats are circling me and vulturous….lol Our kitties really make my day, they are my babies.

Unfortunately, one of our babies isn’t doing too well.  Our 13yr old (Reggie Miller….my husband named him…..grin) has a nasal tumor that there is nothing that they can do about it.  He was disagnosed about a year ago.  He has lost weight over the last few months, his breathing is noisey, sneezes a lot and sometimes it is bloody, you can see the tumor swell under his eye and moving it, but he still has his fiesty grouchy attitude.  =)  The vet says we will know when it is time.  =(  We just spoil him, got him canned foods that he can smell (cats won’t eat unless they can smell it), and let him pretty much eat what ever he wants.  I just hope he makes it to 14, which will be in April.  Not bad for a barn cat runt…….grin…he once got up to 14#.  He is our baby and has had a good life.

Reggie and one of the kittens (Drew Brees…..I named him…….I love my Purdue football) usually jock for the position of sleeping next to me.  It is cute.  Of course, my husband says Drew is a momma’s boy, I say he is just well loved.  Both Drew and Alexis meow for me when I’m not home.  Sakura is so quiet that when she does meow it is soft and surprises you…that is our baby girl.

Well, what I’ve been up to.  As my last few entries, I lost my great-aunt and I flew out for the funeral.  It was hard, but made easier knowing that she was surrounded by family at her home when she went, that she hated living that way and was ready…..but also the stories that that family shared and the laughter, she would’ve loved that.  =)  That is the only good thing about funerals, which is sad, is seeing family you normally don’t and sharing stories.

I finally got to meet my other dad’s other cousin.  =)  They wanted to meet me since I’ve had their address and been sending xmas cards.  If you are family, I have your address and even I’ve never meet you, you’re getting a card.  Just my small part of staying connected with family.  Most of my side of the family had been at the wake the night before, that I missed, but 4 of 8 of my aunt’s nieces and nephews where there and they all sent flowers.  =)  So our love for her was shown.

The trip was totally exhausting though.  The jet lag…..even though I was tired when I got in Sunday, I could not fall asleep until 1am-2am Est time, 10-11pm my time.  Then I was back up by 6am and so I can make the 2 drive north, luckily they were an hour behind my folks so I got a little more sleep.  =)  I was almost out of it when I finally head back.  I put in my headset and spent the drive on the phone with my best friend.  That was a huge help.

I enjoyed visiting with my family, even if it was only one day.  It was a tough day for me, everyone was as at work, which was cool but NO INTERNET…icks…  Mom & dad got rid of their landline but have dsl, so ATT decided to change out their lines.  Of course, they are out in farm country where my sprint card didn’t get a very good signal.  By Tues, I was 2 days behind on work…..not good.  Of course, I was traveling all day Wed so I didn’t get to work until Thrusday.  Then I had payroll to work on Sat/Sun….so I’ve been working since I got home.  Took me forever to get time to do this.

I just wish I had more time with my family, of course, I really wanted to be home also.

We are now watching this : http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/rightamerica/index.html

I love their tears when McCain lost…now they know the despair and depression we felt each time Bush won.

Wow, these people scare me & you wonder why I wanted the hell out of the Midwest…..they are concentrated there.  Hell, I wanted out of the Midwest before I even got there.  So happy to be in Oregon….I finally feel at home.

So now that I’m home, I’m back at the gym 5 days a week….although if we get good weather we’ll good for a hike instead, love those.

I really need to work on taxes this week, I am stressing it…..icks.  =(  Our vacation plans depend on it.  Once I get these done, I’m making an appointment with a tax accountant.

Well, need to get this posted and on to bed….maybe I’ll take some time to myself and read one of my history books, it is a thought.