Current Mood: Patriotic

Torn turns to me a few hours ago and asks, “Today is D-Day isn’t it?  June 6th?”

Sure enough today was D-Day.  We totally forgot because we didn’t see any articles on the news sites today….that is pretty sad.

The National D-Day Memorial Foundation 

Current Mood: Reflective

We are looking forward to this weekend. There is nothing like the Super Bowl and we may have a few friends coming over, so that makes it even better.

I went and got a facial and a message Thursday with the gift certificate Torn gave me for my birthday.  It was something I needed, a little of pampering goes a long way.

Then I’ve been busy as heck with the my online work since.  The 1st and 15th always tie me up. In this case it is a good thing.

Thursday, it has been 2 years since we lost Aurora, it’ll be 4yr in April for Randi, and I’ve just been trying to stay busy so not to think about it.  But last night my mind won’t shut off.  I hope getting it out will help, plus we have plans for the evening so that is a plus.

I know that pets no way have the involvement of kids, responsibility wise……which is why we prefer them, but it no way means that we love them any less.  I’m just wondering it is normal when it has been 2 yrs.

I’m not one who suffers from depression on a regular basis.  When I get into my funks it is because something has happened, a death, some family arguments, PMS….  It has to be “trigged”.  I know everyone suffers from depression at one time or another .  But I know it still has the stagimate that folks who have it effected them regularly won’t get treated.

On an everyday basis, I’m pretty much an optimist……I hope for the best, try to see all sides, but then I try and prepare for the worst “in case”.  Just helps so if anything happens, then I can deal with it in a much better state of mind and I know what I’m doing.

In fact, 20/20 (I think) did a report on what makes people happy and 40% of it is attitude and way of thinking.  I like that, because I think I have a good attitude overall……..I like to look at the good in people, not the bad (just be careful for it) and it doesn’t bother me like most people if I don’t have what the “Jones” have.  I will get what I want eventually, just have to work for it.  A lesson of growing up on the lower economic scale and how my folks handled it.  Others never get over their beginnings.  To me it was just a fact of life.

Well, need to get some lunch into me……I’m starving.  =)

Current Mood: Reflective

I didn’t do too much this weekend. I did get some book keeping done and the normal house work.

We made sure to catch the debates Saturday. It was interesting. Unfortunately Oregon is closed primary state and we really don’t like to register with anyone party, I’m down as unaffiliated. So I’m trying to decide (if it isn’t too late) if I want to change my registration to be able to vote in the primary.

I never had to register with a party, Indiana is an open primary. You could be a registered Dem and ask for the Rep ticket to vote…….and considering that Indiana is mostly a red state with very few Dem running, we’ve done that a few times just to vote against some really horrible people.

I did come across that they are putting the option of an open primary on November’s ballot, so that is cool. I just hope that it succeeds. I hate having to be pegged, I prefer to vote for the person not the party……..even though in this climate I’m very anti-GOP with this administration.

Here was an interesting article that I found about trying to run a campaign totally different from the past : Inside Obama’s Dream Machine

I would love to see McCain win over the other GOP candidates. There is a lot of issues that I don’t agree with on him……..prochoice being the main one, but I love that he is not the rest of the GOPers even though he tried. In some ways reminds me of Bob Dole years ago. He is more of true Republican then the rest are and if the Dems blew it, I don’t think I would feel so defeated or screwed like I did when Bush the moron got reelected.

When it comes to the Dems……I’m not sure who I want, right now I guess the one that beats the GOP……..Torn and I have discussed that an Obama/Edwards ticket would be great.

We just watched a show on Oregon’s PBS on Andrew Jackson……..that was a complicated man. Did some good…..helped to change the system where the everyday man had more of say in the election, but did so much damage at the same time…….Trail of Tears…..

Current Mood: Chilling & Reflective

It has been a rough last few days on a personal level. Nothing that I can really discuss here. I did call my best friend on my break today to vent. Thank god I have her. Everyone needs one person that you can tell everything, in any manner to no matter what. She doesn’t judge me and if I’m pissed, she lets me go off just to get it out of my system.

I had two close friends in HS including her. My other friend, it was so one way……when I was young and had no life, she constantly wanted to be the center of attention and concern. When I got a life and things started getting complicated, I came to realize she never wanted to listen to what was going on in my life and what I was stressing…..it had to be about her and her issues. Luckily my best friend wasn’t like that. I was able to vent and share my stresses while she was able to vent to me. It was a life saver.

Now when we talk on the phone, it is half-half. Like today, I vented and stressed on her and then she vented and stressed on me. What is funny whenever either of us get the urge to call, the other one is thinking of the other. It is like we sense when we need each most for dealing with stuff.

To symbolize our friendship we both got a claddagh ring. We felt that the meaning of that ring defined our friendship:

The Claddagh’s distinctive design features two hands clasping a heart, and usually surmounted by a crown. The elements of this symbol are often said to correspond to the qualities of love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). The expression which was associated with these symbols in the giving of the ring was: “With these hands I give you my heart and I crown it with my love.”

I was just so relieved to be able to get a hold of her today. It really helped.

Is wasn’t even 19:45 when I put the kids to bed.  I’m going to be heading to bed shortly.  I’ll be getting up around 3am to get ready and then getting the kids ready.  We need to leave here by 5am for the airport.

I was able to get off early from work, which was a huge stress reliever on the packing front.  I have the final load of laundry in the dry.  So the only dirty clothes going back will be their pajaminas.  I can’t wait to close up the suitcases………that would be a huge load off of my mind.  Instead of taking one piece of luggage for the 3 kids and myself.  I’ve had to pack two extra just for their stuff………..holy cow. I have their back packs all ready including a bottle of water and a small bag of munchy food.

I got some food in my tummy today.  I haven’t been feeling very well the last few days.  I felt sick to my tummy, but never got sick.  I would get hungry but nothing sat very well.  I’m hoping that I’ll be able to chill sometime is weekend so I won’t feel this way.

I know I’m just babbling…..but I’m going to miss them, even though they drive me nuts and I missed the time that Torn and I get to share around my work schedule.  I hate being torn between wanting to be with the kids and just having together time with Torn.  I try to balance it, especially since work takes up a good portion of my time, but it felt like a tight rope and I was falling all the time.  I won’t mess that feeling……….but I’m going to miss them anyway.

A fellow webmaster runs a site that directs surfers to women friendly porn. It is where the porn presentation is for the woman in mind, much better then “gagging on the cock” crap. Which I hate.

Well, she also has her own blog and I added her. I’ve been thinking of adding her for awhile because I like the insights and thoughts that she has on women and porn. I agree with much of it, I just don’t have the gift of articulating my thoughts so clearly as hers.

She made this post that where she gives a great insight to why certain language of porn sites are still so damaging. There is some language that Torn and I use among ourselves, but if any one else used it on me, I would rip their head off. Check it out, you may learn something. =)

I don’t understand drama queens/kings.

They just don’t know when to let things go and of course, they always have to be right. They never take responsiblity for the trouble they have caused or the words they have stated. They swear that everyone else “twists” their words. It really sad, but annoying as hell. Everytime I see someone like that I shake my head and say to myself “what an idiot/ass, how stupid could they be”.

How the hell do they become that way?