Daily Archives: Tuesday 11th 2014f February 2014

Sleeping Alone

Sitting here wondering how people are able not to be in bed with their partners or able to spend so much time apart from them.

Never thought too much about it except during unexpected instances.

I discovered many years ago when my husband had to work the night shift that I can not sleep worth a damn without him at least being in the house. If he was in the other room, I could sleep, somewhat. But when I was at home, in our bed without him within our house, I couldn’t it was horrible. Even when exhausted, I keep waking up looking for him.

The only times I’ve been able to sleep without him very well is when I’m not in my own bed, not surrounded by our own things and exhausted. Like when I visit family or friends, but I always take a stuffed tiger he gave me years ago to cuddle with…wishing it was him. I need lots of distractions, even then it is tough….I end up spending lots of time on skype or the phone with him at night. Kind of like having his hand on me at night.

I so missed him when he had to travel for work. I remember when he was gone for over week, it about drove me nuts. The only thing that helped was pure work exhaustion and we spent a LOT of time on the phone, this was before computers/skype. If it wasn’t for that….I don’t know how I would’ve handled it.

I know it has always been tough on him when I visited family or when I had to travel for work. He has never done that well when I’m gone. With new technology it has helped some, skype, text and send pictures.

When it came to work travel, I’ve always tried to keep in mind of my Army upbringing and how that was part of life. But it gave me a great appreciation for how hard it was for my mom when dad was away. Especially in the 70s, when we were stationed in Germany and dad was in the states for training….long distance calls were totally outrageous. So I don’t know how they did it.

But now that we don’t have to travel apart very often for work, I don’t handle it very well…unless purely distracted. Visiting family is great distraction. But the last time he traveled for work a few years ago, I was so happy that we were on skype a lot….I don’t think I could’ve handled it otherwise.

I don’t quit get people sleeping in separate bedrooms like one set of my grandparents did. But they were practicing catholics. I guess I can see that if someone snores really bad, as long as they are in the same house together. But I love having him in bed with me….even when we arguing. Normally he’ll start out with his hand on me….and I love that. Makes me feel loved, appreciated and needed.

I just wish that cuddling was more comfortable and my body heat didn’t make us too hot. I would love to be able to sleep that way more. But necks, arms and joints don’t quit like that…..lol

I guess it takes all kinds of people to make partners, but being without him for sleeping….I’m not a good one for that at all.

My baby Drew cuddling and been held like a baby.

My baby Drew cuddling and been held like a baby.

I'm always running into something…..icks!

I’m always running into something…..icks!

Today I got a lot of work done, even got time in to get my skates out. I needed to get some exercise, I really need to get into an exercise routine. Felt good to get out, even though it was chilly. Felt good that I got my skating feet under me quicker this time around….proud of that. =) Even did some floor exercises with the exercise ball.

I’m eating more salads…partly because I brought the lettuce and tomatoes for tacos and haven’t had that yet. So not wanting that to waste. But I’m enjoying the salads more again. Usually that is more of summer or when we go to a restaurant thing.

I do need to do more. Trying to get myself to start tracking calories again, but it is so damn TEDIOUS……gggrrr I know once I start doing that again, I be back on the right track. I never be small, but I can be healthier….not doing the gym daily shows….blah

I am glad to have my boobs more full. When I lost weight, I went down to DDD/F but a bit flat looking to me when I’m on my back. They never use to be that way when I was a DDD/F. But since I went up to a H/I/J and then back down to DDD/F…..yup, a bit flat looking to me. I’m back up to a 38G/H

My very fully boobies.

My very fully boobies and belly rolls.

Just not liking my belly and thighs at much. The good thing is that hubby loves my belly. Love to grab it, put his hand on it….shows his enjoyment of it. That always makes me feel better. =)

Some of my belly rolls with my pussy hair getting thicker.

Some of my belly rolls with my pussy hair getting thicker.

Toni’s Daily Tweets