We did get off our butts and went for a bike ride this morning. We really needed it.

Once we got back, we went on some errands, or should I say a small needed spending spree. We went and got an external hard drive, then a new office chair for me, a shedder that can take care of cds, got my flash drive, paper and then went grocery shopping.

By the time we got done, feels like our day was about over. I did get some time in the sun, not much……..needed to finish working on some of my letters. I decided to use legal size paper, I have a bunch of it, and it makes the longest letter from 99 pages to 77……….lol So I need to get different envelopes so it’ll fit.

I have to work early tomorrow, so I need to get myself ready for bed, and that includes putting away laundry…….lol

When I went to get some sun Torn came out a did a few pictures so he could get some more practice with the new camera……….grin………we then did a bj video out on the patio………grin So we did have some fun……..grin

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol a bit. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them is a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick. “Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I’ve gone to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning paper. His son is sitting at the table eating. Jack asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 AM, drunk out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, Jack asked his son, “So why is everything in perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you into the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, lady, I’m married!”

Broken Coffee Table…$239.99
Hot Breakfast…$4.20
Two aspirins…38 cents
Saying the right thing, at the right time…Priceless

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.” The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old men can still think fast!

Well, I ended up having a topless chat this morning, since mother nature showed up. Unfortunately, it has been kicking my ass….gggrrr

Chatting was fun. Some times just chatting is nice change of pace.

I went and got my nails done…………they were in bad shape. Caught up on email and then on my letter writing…..kind of……..lol

I send some family members copies of my blog entries (cleaned up, course) along with a letter. It is really a good way for them to keep up with what is happening. The problem is that time has gotten away from me and I haven’t done it since June of last year! So from June 23 ‘05 to now I have them copied into the letters. Now two of the family members aren’t as young as they use to be, so I increase the font to 12……so I have 3 letters that range from 66pages to 95 pages……lol So we are going to get some extra ink and paper so I don’t run out in the middle of the printing. =) Thinking I may need to get binders for them………..lol

We also finally caught up on all of our shows. Now we just have about 4-5 movies to watch……lol I think we’ll try to watch a few Thursday, since that is my next day off. We’ll see.

It must be the weather or time of the year, but my sinuses have been kicking my ass…..or I should say my head….icks. I’m going to take some meds and they are going to knock me out, so I’ll say good night. =)

Howdy, howdy!

Yesterday we headed down to Ft. Lauderdale and finally got us the new camera we’ve been wanting the last few years. We got the Nikon D70.

We went to the Cheesecake Factory for the 1st time to have lunch with a friend. The food was good, the banana creme cheesecake was excellent. Damn!!

After lunch and picking up the camera, we want a visited with our friend Cleo. Poor Cleo, she hasn’t been feeling very well and feeling wierd with all the cold meds she was taken. We had a cool visit with her and then we went out to dinner with her and Foxy Angel and her neighbor Jim, who is very interesting individual in the life that he has lead. It was a good visit.

If we were smart we would’ve stayed the night and came home in the morning, but we weren’t. We have so much to do on my days off that it is tough. Of course, our day ended up being a total waste since we were so exhausted from the drive (3hrs one way) that we couldn’t get our brains out of the fog.

We did get me a a cordless mouse. I love my track ball to death, but using my right hand all the time aggravates the hell out of my tennis elbow. Dad told me that his doctor told him to start using his left hand. So I figured I’ll give that a try. It is tough as heck and feel wierd. Especially since I’m very right-handed dominated.

Wow……I stayed up much longer then planned….not good, I have to gert up by 6am…….lol

Have a good night.

I had to work very early yesterday, I was exhausted by the time I got home. I took a quick 15min power nap and then decided to attack the house.

The wind as seemed to have shift and I think the construction site is done destroying the wetlands and hurricane barrior. So the dirt hasn’t been coming in as bad. So we started to wipe everything down. The towels came away black. Took me forever to mop, had to change the water a few times and I now need a new mop. But it was nice to have floors without that layer of dirt. =)

I have to work tonight……..joy, joy………..lol I was going to ride my bike in, but Torn is waiting for the delievery of his laptop and I know he’ll be tied up with getting that set up tonight. So he won’t be able to meet me for the ride home.

I know that I had more that I wanted to write, but for the life of me I can’t remember it………lol Oh, well time for me to get ready for work anyway.

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

She sleepily replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit.”

I still haven’t done my letter writing that I need to do……….and didn’t touch the work schedule, like I needed to. =( But I’ve been taking some “me” time here by doing some reading. Granted I’m actually rereading some Harry Potter books, but I think I’m just so impatient for the next book that I keep looking for things that I missed. I need to start reading all the other books that I haven’t read yet………..grin

Downloaded music for the first time. Way too many folks to choose from and I barely scratched the surface. I think I got nearly all the Yo Yo-Ma that there was. =)

We finally got some dates for when my folks and the kids are coming down! Now we can start planning the rest of our summer and their visit. Since I work out side of the house, Torn will have them about 70% of the time. Good thing we have a pool and they love to swim. =) Mom & Dad will drive them down, visit for a little while at the end of May and I’ll fly the kids back about the 2nd week of July.

As Torn posted, due to constuction not that far from us, the house has a continous layer of dirt. =( I keep wiping things down, my floors don’t looked liked I mopped them and my feet can’t seem to stay clean…..yuck! We don’t want to close the windows until it gets too hot, since air condition get old and we will be having it on soon enough. So for now we suffer. =(

I laid out briefly today. Didn’t think I got much sun, but I was mistaken…….lol My back is red and the back of my thighs are tender. I got some on the front, but no where the amount that I got on the back. That was cuz I was reading while laying on my stomach and when I laid on my back, I was just way too restless.

Torn will be taking in the truck tomorrow to get 2 new tires & a much needed alignment and outside of oil changes, hopefully that will be it for a long while. =)

Time for me to hit the hay, have to work early tomorrow.

** Funny Fwd.

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. “You impotent bastard,” She screamed at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I’ll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”

Current Mood: Amused

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Feb 13 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor —
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations..
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day